You would think that because I am a Marine that life isn’t that hard to live. I’d like to tell you that you couldn’t be more wrong. War is hell on earth. I have seen so many things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. No matter how much I try to forget the light fading from someone’s eyes, I cannot. My life is one determined by the mind. I wake up every day to fears of what will trigger the turmoil that sends me into overdrive. My life is depicted by sounds and colors and things that make me less of a man.
Who am I, well I am CPL Blake Johnson. I am a United States Marine and I am living with post-traumatic stress disorder. If it weren’t for Anna, the sunshine in my life things would be much harder than they are.
Being a cosmetologist is not the easiest job for me, and after losing my best friend to her inner demons. I am bound and determined to not lose the man I love as well. They say in my line of profession you are more than what you claim. You are a therapist, a shrink, a person that listens to anything and everything. I am not that person. I have so much built up inside me I think I may be about to explode. I hope that this isn’t true because my heart picked someone that happens to be as inconsolable as I feel.
Who am I? Well, my name is Anna Henderson. I am just trying to live my life one moment at a time and praying that I don’t mess it up.
enjoying a nice dinner and drinks. Sam
and Anna are actually getting along a lot better than I thought they
would. In all honesty, I believe they could be good friends. If it weren’t for Mary-Beth being with Jameson,
I think they would have been friends too.
there eating our salad and talking when a plate crashes in the distance. I
immediately duck and cover under the table. Oh shit, this isn’t good. I grab hold to the table and just try to let
me breathing even out. I know this
doesn’t look good for me, but all I can think about is that damn bomb blowing
up and taking everyone away. I’m shaking
under the table, my whole body quivering.
for him. Sam, explain please.” I hear
Jameson saying, but it sounds so far away.
I feel someone beside me, but I can’t look up. My head is in my hands against my knees and I
just keep rocking, trying to make myself forget everything. “Johnson, look at me man.”
or something crashing in the kitchen. We
aren’t there anymore man. It isn’t
anything bad,” he says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. I finally look up to lock eyes with him and
feel like such a coward for acting this way.
you will get through this,” Jameson cajoles as he bumps his head against
leave. We haven’t even stayed together
because I was afraid I’d scare her with my dreams. Now, I have scared her by being scared of a
fucking dish breaking in a kitchen.” I
let out in a tortured groan.
Mary-Beth. She’s a lot tougher than
this. If she cares she will stay.”
say as I get up from under the table. I
avoid eye contact with anyone including Anna.
I hear her mumble something and then footsteps behind me, but I don’t
wait for her to catch up. I walk outside
and to the edge of the building as I light up a cigarette. I inhale the toxins welcoming them into my
body. Anna comes and stands in front of
me, looking me up and down.
long have you been like this, Blake?”
what?” I snap, I instantly feel remorse as I see her cringe and take a step
mind. I’m sorry I asked.”
wait. I just… It’s not something I like to talk about. Okay?”
that why you didn’t stay the night with me that night we watched movies?”
I would have been there for you through it.
I want to know everything about you.
Why you lied to me and kept it from me, I don’t know.”
gives me a sad smile as I light up another cigarette, looking over when I hear
Jameson raising his voice outside with someone.
I look over to see Ms. Jennifer and Mr. Roger standing over there with
on, I’ll take you home,” I say as I grab
Anna’s hand and take her to my car. I
open the door helping her inside then I walk
around to the other side. I just flip
Kyle off as I see him standing by the car parked beside me. We drive in silence the whole way back to
Anna’s and I can’t help but feel like this wall is growing between us more and
more. I pull into the apartment complex
and put the Rover in park.
gonna come in?”
tonight, I think maybe I should just go on home. We’ve had enough excitement for one night.”
okay then,” she replies. The look on her
face kills me. It’s the look of someone
who’s hurting and I wish I could make it go away, but I can’t. I don’t know how to fix it. I watch her walk up the stairs to her
apartment. When I know she is safely
inside I jerk the car into reverse.
In one day your life can go from awesome to total shit and for me it’s going to change forever. Who am I? My name is PFC Jameson Carter, and I am a United States Marine, or I was until a bomb detonated and took half of me with it. The only thing that kept me alive was the woman I had waiting back for me at home.
How do you go from being a complete person to being half of something? For me, I have help, but how can I be anything more than half of what I used to be? Then when the one person you count on, the person you lived for leaves you how do you react?
For Samantha Blalock life is easy, she helps repair people like me, the people who lose limbs. Something isn’t the same though, she’s changed. See I’ve known Samantha for years. She’s hiding something. Can we help each other through these trying times in our lives? Or does the fact remain that we are both irreparable?***DISCLAIMER*** This book contains topics of a serious nature, including possible violent scenes.